When you have a child with Aspergers, you unwillingly adapt to what you feel is the best for the situation. The problem with this is that you need to further adapt. To readjust to what really is best. That being said, it is obvious that your Aspie child does require a special kind of attention, a level of attention that, at times, requires more of your time. Not to say that your child does not is at liberty to use any and all of your time as they need it.
The problem arises when your Aspie child is also a sibling. The game changes when there is a brother or sister. Now you have to give your Aspie child all that he or she requires from you, while, at the same time, balancing that time with your other child. Although you have a child with exceptional needs, you still have another child. And although you may feel that that other child is capable of handling more of their lives and personal situations on their own, they still, ultimately, need you in their lives.
For myself, my daughter, who suffers… no, lives with Aspergers, requires a lot of attention, love and guidance from her mother and I. Aspie is a condition that demands more at times than a parent caring for a child not diagnosed with AS. It requires a lifetime of leading and teaching, especially with social interaction.
However this does not condone ignoring other children. For example, my daughter’s older brother, my son. The biggest mistake I was making was thinking, because he is actually an adult, is that he did not require an equal amount of my time. He did and he does. Just because he is a man, does not change that he is my son. This of course may have caused him to lose some faith in me as a father. I’m supposed to be there to guide him as well in life.
Hence the purpose of this article. Although this comes across as rambling, the fact remains, you still have responsibilities to all those that require your time.
Never forget one child in the process of being there for another child. Make sure they know that you love them and make sure they know you are there for them. I hope mine do. I may not spread my time properly, as it is a learning process for all when you are thrown into this situation, but I would never deny one or the other deliberately.
Although your job as a parent to an Aspie child demands a lot to that individual child at times, your job as a parent is to make sure you meet the demands of all and that they understand you are there, no matter what.
Never shut one door to make sure another is open.
I hope this article made sense.
I’m done.
No…
My daughter knows.
I hope my son knows how much I love him. Now I’m done
Don't Forget The Children by Andrew Seichter is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada License.
Based on a work at http://aspieflight.blogspot.ca/.
